I was out in the back garden the other afternoon when I heard a rustling in the undergrowth at the side of the house. Thinking it was a fox, I froze, hoping to see Reynard in all his furry glory - but surprise, surprise, 'twas no fox but rather a DALEK peeping cautiously from the foliage. My mistake for tossing some old iron nails into the bushes when I replaced them in the back gate last week, but I hardly expected a Dalek to be foraging for metal scraps in my back garden. No doubt his spaceship was concealed nearby (it's a big garden) and he was looking for parts with which to effect a minor repair, so I just let him get on with it. Luckily I was able to surreptitiously snap a few photos with my concealed lapel camera before going back inside, 'cos I know what a disbelieving lot some of you can be. He might still be out there for all I know.
What's that you say, nurse? Time for my medicine? Who are you calling a little pr*ck? Oh, you mean the injection? Okay, fire away.
See you all again when I wake up and they take off these long-sleeved pyjamas they're fitting me with. Flubble!
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